Departure (Naruto Secrets)
by TheFemaleReviewer
Summary: When Sasuke left Konoha, it wasn't an easy departure at all. It was an inner struggle, right down to the pit of his soul the entire way. Read this special Sasuke-centric one-shot to find out what Sasuke brought with him on his way out of Konoha and the memories from Kakashi, Sakura and Naruto that he'll never leave behind.


Sasuke

Departure

_It's too cold..._

My room was dark. I purposely didn't turn on the lights. Lights were a nuisance...and so was noise. But then why, for the first time in a long time, was I missing all the noise?

My windows were open. My window blinds billowed in the wind. I nudged my backpack with my foot. The same backpack I'd taken on so many missions. The same backpack Naruto tugged on when he wanted to get my attention. The same backpack Sakura would pick up and hand to me to be sure I didn't leave it behind. The same backpack Kakashi would stick extra ninja tools into to be sure I was ready and prepared.

_Why do I feel like this? Should I even feel like this?_

I turned the picture frame over in my hands. Back to front. Back to front. Back to front. Slowly, I turned it to the front and stopped it. My eyes settled on Kakashi's face.

Suddenly, I was whisked away into an old memory.

Kakashi put a hand on my head.

"That was good practice, Sasuke!" he said, smiling down at me. "It's time for a break."

We sat on the top of a rocky jagged cliff on the outskirts of the land of fire. I hadn't been so far out of the village since I was a little boy with Itachi. I looked around the desert-like plain and felt grateful for the cool breeze on my neck.

Suddenly, I felt a shock of cold water running down my back. I jumped to the side, startled.

"Hey!" I shouted.

Kakashi laughed, pulling the tip of his water canteen up.

"I just wanted to bring your attention to the fact that you're missing a shirt."

I looked down at my bare chest. He was right. Somewhere between all the Chidori lessons and practicing various forms of taijutsu, I'd ripped it off. I was so bent on learning as much as I could so I could blow all the competition out of the Chunin Exam finals, I hardly even noticed.

"The Exams are tomorrow." Kakashi reminded me. "Let's go down to the nearby shop town and find a tailor."

I ran my hand through my dripping hair, spraying droplets of water around.

"My clan has our clothes prepared by our own personal tailor." I told him, tossing my kunai knife around my finger.

"Yeah? Well, where is she?"

I paused. My kunai knife clattered to the rocky overhang and fell into the valley below us.

_Dead... Along with everyone else..._

Kakashi stood up.

"Come on." He said. "We can have them print your clan symbol on the back of your shirt again. It won't be a problem."

I raised my head and looked up at him.

_It's been so long since..._

I slowly raised my arm and allowed him to pull me up to my feet.

_I've gotten new clothes._

A couple of hours later, I was staring at myself in a full length mirror. I tugged on the all black unitard and cocked my head curiously. Kakashi picked it out. I didn't really care what my new outfit looked like either way. I thought the black ribbons around my bandages keeping them steady were a cool touch though.

Kakashi leaned against the wall next to the mirror with the same book he always carried around propped up in front of his face. He looked up at me.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

But before I could respond, the lady came between us and grinned at the mirror.

"I _knew_ that would be a perfect fit! You look gorgeous!" said the female tailor, admiring her work. "By the way, what is it for?"

"We're ninja." Kakashi explained to her. "It's for his Chunin Exam match tomorrow."

"Awww!" She said jubilantly, clapping her hands together. "That's_ so_ cute!"

I used all of my thirteen year old restraint not to roll my eyes, turn around and go back to Konoha right at that moment.

"Ninja aren't cute." I managed to mutter.

But she wasn't listening, she smiled at Kakashi as she circled me, picking lint off my outfit and stretching out some of the wrinkles.

"I can take some pictures for you as souvenirs! On the house!" she offered.

"Oh, that'll be nice." Kakashi began.

"No!" I interrupted, grabbing Kakashi's vest. "We're leaving."

"You don't want to pose for even_ one_ picture?" Kakashi asked.

"No." I muttered. "I want to leave... _Now_."

"Aw, it's alright." The woman said. "My son was the same way when he was at that age."

"Teenagers." Kakashi agreed airily.

Kakashi paid her however much she was owed and grabbed my shoulder, ready to lead me out. But on our way to the door, a couple other female tailors paused in front of us and grinned excitedly.

"Aw! Your son is _so_ adorable!" One of them said.

The other pouted her lip at Kakashi.

"Are you a single father?" she asked him.

He shrugged.

"Something like that." Kakashi replied off-handedly.

"Awww!" they both exclaimed.

I pushed the doors to the shop open and walked out with clear irritation. Kakashi walked next to me, turning the pages in his book, seeming not to notice. Finally, he glanced over at me.

"You know, your hair is getting kind of long." He pointed out. "Wanna go get a cut?"

"No." I said tersely, keeping my eyes straight ahead.

On our way back to our training spot, I purposely walked a couple of feet away from him. He didn't seem to notice anything strange about it. And that was exactly what was bothering me. Finally, when we got all the way back, we ran all the way back up to the top of the highest rocky peak and Kakashi lay down on his back. I sat Indian style next to him looking out at the setting sun.

_Sunsets remind me of..._

"Sasuke-kun, come on, we're leaving!"

"Okay, Oka-san!"

I picked up my toy shuriken and stuffed kunai knives and ran as quickly as my little three year old feet could carry me to the front door.

"Sasuke, hold on." A voice said.

I turned around.

"Nii-san?"

"You forgot your paper bomb toys." Itachi said, smiling down widely at me.

Sunday Picnics outside of Konoha... It was like a tradition. Every Sunday, we'd all watch the sunset together. Itachi and I would swim in the lake on the outskirts of the village and Otou-san and Oka-san would sit in the shade and talk and it would just be us.

I fell asleep with that memory vivid in my mind and for the first time since the day the clan was exterminated, I woke up without tears on my face. Sunrise met me and I rose to it slowly. There was something slightly heavy on me, weighing me down a bit but keeping me warm. I sat up and pulled it off me.

_A...Chunin vest?_

I looked to my left to see Kakashi leaning back looking up at the light blue and lavender horizon. When he saw that I was awake, he turned and smiled at me.

"Morning, Sasuke." He said. "Ready for your big day?"

I threw his vest to him. He caught it and cocked his head.

"Weren't you cold last night?" He asked.

I frowned and looked down at the ground.

"Stop acting like you're my father or something." I mumbled. "Because you're not. Your just here to train me."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"All those ladies at the tailor shop yesterday... They thought you were my father." I reminded him. "And you didn't set them straight!"

He even paid for my new outfit... Even though I had enough money, he insisted he wanted to make it a belated thirteenth birthday present.

"Ohhh." He said. "That's why you've been so cold."

I put my arms on my knees.

"I don't need you to make me feel better. I'm fine on my own so just leave me alone." I retorted.

"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings Sasuke." He said. "I didn't mean to make you feel like a child."

I picked at the ribbons tied around my Chidori arm to keep the bandages tight.

"The reason I didn't correct those people was because, in a way, I actually do think of you as my son." He confessed.

My eyes widened but I kept my face shielded from him.

"It was like a real compliment to me. To be considered a father to you."

Slowly, I turned and looked at him. He was smiling... It seemed incredibly genuine.

"I'm not anyone that you'd want to be a father to..." I lamented, turning away. "So you should just have your own kids."

"Oh?" he said. "I suppose you're right..."

I gripped the black ribbons, loosening them and re-tightening them. An awkward silence floated around. A chilly breeze rolled by. I rubbed my arms and looked longingly at Kakashi's vest.

_Working will warm me up..._

"Well, let's start training again. I only have two hours." I reminded him.

"Enough training." He said. "You can train your body all day but if your mind isn't up to speed, it means nothing."

I cocked my head.

"Let's discuss your opponents." He said.

We went over everyone who was in the competition. Everyone that I could possibly be put against and how best to defeat them with my mind before exhausting my chakra. It was a lot of training in itself, just to think critically.

"Gaara's slow." Kakashi explained to me. "When Rock Lee fought him, his sand protection could barely keep up."

"But I'm nowhere near as fast as Lee." I said.

"You will be if you have the Chidori." He pointed out. "And your eyes are definitely faster."

"So you really think I could beat him?"

"The real question is...do _you _think you can beat him?" he asked.

I pondered that for a while.

_Well, if I can't, then how can I beat Itachi? I have to beat him. There's no thinking involved._

The sun gradually moved to the center of the sky. We took a small break from strategic talk.

"So are there any girls you're interested in?" he asked me, glancing up from his book.

_That's random..._

"No." I said quickly.

"Not even one?"

"I don't like girls." I said, leaning back. "Girls are annoying."

He raised his eyebrows.

"Is someone like Naruto more your type?" he asked.

I made a very vividly disgusted face.

"Of course not!" I retorted, sitting back up. "That's gross! I'd never-"

He raised his arms in surrender.

"Okay, okay!" he said, laughing. "I just wanted to be sure."

I slowly lay back down, still frowning at the thought of it.

"It's just interesting to hear that coming from the same guy who said he wanted to revive his clan." Kakashi pointed out, still chuckling.

"Yeah..." I said, shrugging. "But that has nothing to do with girls."

Strangely, Kakashi laughed harder.

"What?" I asked.

He reached over and ruffled my hair.

"Uhhh... I'll tell you about it when you're older." He said, winking at me.

I pulled out of his grip. I hated not knowing things.

"Just tell me right now." I protested.

"It might be a bit of a shock to you..." he warned, turning a page in his book.

"Tell me." I ordered.

He sighed.

"Let's just put it like this. You _need_ a woman to revive your clan... Women get pregnant and have babies." He said.

"I know _that_..." I replied.

He looked relieved.

"But that doesn't mean I actually have to be around a girl, right? Can't just tell her to go have a baby?" I asked.

Kakashi slapped his hand to his face.

"What?" I asked, feeling annoyed.

"That's not how it works at all." Kakashi mumbled.

He looked down at me.

"You can't just have a baby out of thin air." He said.

"Well, what do I have to do?"

He stared out into the distant horizon.

"You have to love a girl." He said. "When you love her, the baby will come."

"That doesn't sound as difficult as you're making it." I mused.

"Well, it _is_ a bit more complex than that..." Then he scratched his hair and grinned at me. "But I'll tell you the rest when you're older. No discussion."

I sighed and leaned onto my back. A couple of birds soared overhead. The clouds were big and white and they blocked the sun from my eyes momentarily.

"Did you love a girl, Kakashi?" I found myself asking.

He was silent for a long time. It was almost so long, I thought he didn't hear me but then he shifted.

"Well... When I was a kid, there was a girl on my team that really adored me... Kind of the same way Sakura adores you." He said.

I scoffed, imaging Sakura's annoying nature. It was because of her, I was almost disqualified from the Chunin exams because of the curse mark I got from that weird snake man. Girls were _so_ weak...

"I never paid her the time of day." He said, chuckling quietly. "Also, just like you. But one day... Something bad happened."

I glanced over at him.

"Our other teammate, a boy who loved her so much he was willing to give his own life for her, died rescuing her from some enemy ninja." He said quietly. "He was my best friend... After that... I slowly grew to... Love her."

I could tell it was something hard for him to admit.

"I loved her because of my own reasons... But I also loved her because my best friend died begging me to protect her with my life."

"So who is she?" I asked. "Is she still in the village?"

Again, he was quiet for a long time. I sat up and nudged him. His book was closed in his hand and responded without looking at me.

"I couldn't keep my promise to him." He said. "She died."

A cool wind whipped past us, chilling me to the bone.

_Kakashi... Could that be the reason why you never had any children?_

"If there's anything I want you to learn from me, Sasuke, it's that comrades...are _everything_." He told me.

The cloud continued to block the sun. He looked down into the dark valley below us as he spoke.

"And I always wished that I could've shown both of them how much I really cared for them... Before time took them away from me."

His face mask and headband covered the side of his face that I was looking at so I wasn't sure. But I could've sworn I saw something sparkle and drop from beneath his eyelid and into the dark valley below.

Slowly, everything began to make sense to me.

_Kakashi doesn't only think of me as a son... He thinks of me as a reflection of himself. He sticks so close to me because... Probably... He's trying to make sure I don't make the same mistakes he did..._

I found myself reaching over his lap and grabbing the Chunin vest I had previously thrown away. I tugged it on, put my arms through the holes and found that I was warmed almost immediately. Kakashi put his hand in my hair, ruffling it. And even though every cell in my body was telling me to get up and run and not to trust him or anyone else, I leaned against him.

_I wonder if one day I'll find love for Sakura... I wonder if one day I'll discover that Naruto's my best friend... I also wonder if by that then, time will have already taken them away from me..._

"Oh! Look at the time!" Kakashi exclaimed, what felt like an hour later. "You're late for your match!"

We stood up and he showed me an instant transmission jutsu he'd copied from a Stone ninja a long time before then. He promised me that if I won the Chunin Exams, he'd show me how to do it.

_And I suppose, if I ever did get a new father, I'd be kind of happy if it were Kakashi._

Sitting on my wooden floor in my clean apartment room, I kept turning the picture frame over in my hands. I heard an owl's coo outside my window. I let the picture frame fall upright in my hands and my eyes settled on Sakura.

"Sasuke-kun!" she exclaimed. "Sasuke-kun!"

I wanted to cover my ears with my hands.

_So annoying..._

"What?!"

She paused in front of me.

"Do you want to train together?"

"No." I said, pushing past her.

Naruto hurried to her side, grinning widely.

"Then you and I should train together, Sakura!"

"Not now, Naruto." she retorted, shoving him out of her way.

She ran ahead, falling into step with me. Naruto came around and joined my other side.

_Could this duo possibly be any more annoying?_

"Naruto!"

We all paused and looked up. A man with a shock of whitish gray hair flowing down his back jumped in front of us.

"Didn't you say you wanted to come with me?" he asked.

Naruto slapped his head with his hand.

"Oh right!" he exclaimed. "Yeah! I got my backpack packed, let's go!"

"Go where?" Sakura inquired.

"Top secret mission." The toad sage man said.

Naruto winked at her and audibly whispered.

"Hokage retrieval mission...S-rank."

She raised her eyebrows impressively and he grinned.

"See you guys later!"

They both ran off. Sakura and I continued walking.

_How did Naruto find a way to get a mission like that?_

I frowned, stuffing my hands into my pockets.

_Probably the work of that toad man... Jiraiya or whatever? Showing favoritism..._

"Sasuke... Do I bother you?"

I paused. Sakura had stopped walking. I glanced back at her. The wind blew, tossing her short pink hair.

"Yes." I said truthfully.

She frowned.

"But it's not like I'm bothered by you specifically." I said. "Everyone bothers me."

We continued walking toward the river bank. She found a spot in the grass and looked out into the orange and pink horizon of sunset. I hesitated, wondering whether or not to keep walking. I sighed, deciding there wasn't anywhere in particular I was itching to go. I sat down in the grass next to her and she looked over, surprise etched in her face.

"I don't have much to do today." I mumbled.

_It's not because I actually like being around you or anything..._

She nodded. We were silent for a while.

"Do you read a lot?" she asked me.

I shrugged.

"I read to get information." I responded.

"I like reading." She said. "I like reading so much my Dad used to nickname me the BookWorm. That's why I'm so good at repeating facts from class or memorizing rules from the ninja handbook."

_Bragging? That's even more irritating than usual..._

"You know the restricted section in the Konoha Main Library?" she asked.

I was whisked back to a childhood memory. Itachi pulled my small, five year old hand. I ran along quickly to keep up with him.

"Where are we going, Nii-san?"

"The Library, Sasuke, there's a document I need to retrieve."

We entered and made a sharp right and descended a set of stairs. Underground, there was a large sign written in big, blood red letters: Restricted Section. I grabbed Itachi's pant leg fearfully.

"Stay out here and wait for me, Sasuke." Itachi said before slipping inside like a real ninja.

"Yeah." I responded.

"I went in there yesterday even though I wasn't supposed to." She said. "Only Higher Level Jounin have permission to read what's inside there. Like Anbu level."

I nodded. Itachi was an Anbu at that time.

"I... I read a lot of stuff..." she went on.

"So what?" I asked.

She picked a string of grass and allowed it to blow off her finger tip into the wind.

"I read a lot about your clan, Sasuke." She said, turning to me with those shinning green eyes.

It felt like the world hiccupped for a second. Strangely, I found that I couldn't look at her.

"It was in '_Konoha, A History_'." She went on. "And it was also in '_Senju vs Uchiha: Which Will Prosper_'?"

"Anyone could've told you that my clan was annihilated." I responded tonelessly. "You don't need a stupid book to tell you that."

"But no one could've told me it was..." she paused for a second, swallowing. "Your own brother."

I clutched the grass next to me. Her hand was on my thigh. I watched as she slid a folded, browning piece of paper there. With a slightly trembling hand, I took it and unfolded it.

Right there. Right in my face. Was a large picture of Itachi and myself. A picture I hadn't even seen before on the day that Itachi graduated from the Academy. Itachi had me positioned on his shoulders. We both smiled at the camera widely. I was very young then, probably no older than four. I had my hand outstretched toward the camera, smiling widely like a regular happy-go lucky toddler. The rest of the paper read...

"Itachi Uchiha, up, single handedly wiped the hidden leaf of the Uchiha clan on this fateful day leaving not one survivor except his younger brother Sasuke Uchiha, down. Konoha elders and officials speculate how important or useful the younger Uchiha could be for him to be left completely untouched by the mass murderer..."

_They're wrong... I wasn't left untouched... Mom, Dad, everyone... I watched them die... He made me watch it... I had to watch it all... I..._

"Sasuke."

I looked up, saved from a black hole that I'd probably never be able to crawl out of alone.

"I'm sorry I'm reminding you of this, it's just..." she looked down. "I feel like such an idiot."

I raised my eyebrows.

"All this time... All this time... I thought that..." she looked at her palms. "I thought you quiet and alone and strong because you were too cool to talk to anyone... Not because... Because..."

I tossed the paper back to her.

"You were right." I said. "I stay to myself because I want to. Not because I'm too scared to make friends or any bullshit like that... No one here is on my level. That's all."

_Keep talking..._

"My brother's an asshole... But it doesn't matter. I'm going to find him and kill him anyway when I'm strong enough." I went on.

_That's right, I have to just keep talking._

"You really want to know something about me?" I told her. "I'm an avenger. I'll avenge my whole clan by wiping his filthy face off this earth. That's my duty. That's my destiny."

_I have to keep her ignorant of my..._

"Really?" she asked. "You could really do that?"

"Of course." I said. "How could I not after what he did?"

She smiled down at her feet.

_She doesn't believe me..._

"Why are you smiling?" I asked.

"Well... I kind of think of Naruto like the little brother I never had." She explained. "And even if, by some crazy, terrible accident, he turned on the village and wiped out everyone I knew and loved... I don't think I'd ever be able to stop looking at him as... The goofy blonde haired kid."

She looked up and smiled at me.

"You must really be strong..." she whispered.

The colors of sunset highlighted her light pink hair. I found that her smile brought a bit of extra warmth to me.

I turned my eyes back to the grass.

_Talking didn't save me. She knows..._

She flipped the piece of paper between her fingers and then handed it back to me. I slowly took it.

_She knows how hard it really is for me to look at my brother as..._

"Nii-san!"

"Good Morning, Sasuke." Itachi replied, giving me a casual flick in the forehead.

"Let's play Hide and Seek!"

_...a villain._

"But... I would still do it." She finished.

I looked up at her. Her eyes were cold and hard as she stared down at the shimmering water.

"If I had a brother and he did something so vicious and evil..." she explained. "I would snuff out all my pain and confusion... And I would do it."

She looked to me.

"But not for revenge...like what you said." She told me. "But to...protect the people around me that are still living."

We stared at each other.

_Even though we're next to the water..._

"Please, Sasuke just...promise me... When you _do_ kill him... You'll kill him for the family you have right now." She said, tears growing.

_I can't help but feel a bit of extra warmth sitting here._

I scoffed, got to my feet, and stuffed the scrap of paper into my pocket.

"It doesn't matter what or who I kill him for." I said, stuffing my hands into my pockets. "Just as long as he's dead. And either way, it's of no concern to you."

I began walking away and then paused.

"And Sakura..." I said, with my back to her.

"Yes?" I heard her call.

"Don't tell anyone about this. Especially not Naruto."

I could feel her nodding whole heartedly.

"I wasn't going to." I heard her say.

I continued walking home and a strange thought passed through my head.

_If there ever was a girl I'd like to be with one day... I suppose it _would _be Sakura..._

My fingers slipped. The picture frame clattered to the floor and fell on its face. Tucked in the panel behind it, I could see the folded up piece of paper that Sakura had given me. I had hidden it there. I slowly picked the frame back up, somewhat grateful that the glass hadn't broken. I grasped the part of my shirt that lay over my heart.

_Why does this hurt so badly? Why?_

I allowed my eyes to travel onto one last face... Naruto.

I jumped, startled. Someone was banging on my window screen. It was a dark, furious night. The wind was billowing, the rain poured in buckets, the pitch black sky was illuminated every couple of seconds with a shock of lightning. The person banged louder. I made my way to the window screen and let out a breath of relief when I saw who was there.

Naruto.

"Sasuke!" he seemed to shout.

I took my time getting to the window and slowly unlocked it. He pushed it open and jumped onto my floor.

"You're getting rain everywhere!" I complained, shutting the screen.

The wind was blowing so hard, it took me a couple seconds to get it completely closed. I turned back and looked at Naruto who was shivering uncontrollably.

"I l-locked m-m-myself out of t-the house." He said.

I sighed and walked around him.

"Is it really that cold out there?"

"It's f-f-freezing!" he exclaimed.

I pulled a towel out of my dresser and walked over to him.

"Here." I said. "Now go find Kakashi or something."

He pulled the towel over his shoulders and struggled to retain heat.

"Can I j-just stay here, Sasuke?" he begged. "P-Please?"

"'Tch." I muttered. "No."

"Pleaaaaase?"

"No."

"Sasuke!" he yelled, wiping his face with the towel. "Don't be so cold!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever..." I sighed.

_This is going to be so annoying._

He pumped his fists.

"Yes!" he said. "Sleepover!"

He ran past me and straight into my kitchen leaving a trail of water the entire way behind him.

"Hey!" I shouted.

He popped his head back into the room, already holding a bowl in one hand and a cup in the other.

"You're tracking water everywhere!"

He set the utensils down and came back in.

"Oh! Sorry!"

He zipped his soggy jacket down and let it drop to the floor, and then he grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head spraying water onto me.

"Hey! Don't just start undressing right in front of me!"

He cocked his head as he zipped his pants down.

"But we're both boys, right?" he asked.

I made a point to look the other direction as he took the rest of his clothes off.

"Whoaaa. Hey, Sasuke, check it out. My balls curled in 'cause of the cold."

"I'm not looking at that." I said, crossing my arms.

"Come on, just look!"

"No!"

He grabbed my arm.

"Stop!" I exclaimed, pushing him away.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I turned around angrily.

"It's weird, okay?! You're naked!" I yelled, walking toward my dresser.

"Oh my god, Sasuke! I broke something!"

I whirled around.

"What?!"

He stood there, completely naked, sneering at me and laughing.

"Made you look!"

I gritted my teeth and pulled my dresser open angrily. I pulled out the first pair of boxer briefs I could find and threw it at him.

"Put those on and shut up!"

He sighed, seemingly saddened at not having anything to torment me with anymore. I went to the kitchen and went back to making a pot of tomato stew. Luckily, all that Naruto distraction didn't burn the food. I heard a chair pull out and turned. Naruto, wearing nothing but my dark red pair of boxer briefs, was seating himself at the round table in the center of my kitchen.

"What are we having?" he asked.

_We?_

"Nothing for you." I said.

I rolled my eyes at his immature pout and sighed.

"Tomato stew and beef sandwiches." I mumbled.

He cocked his head.

"Never heard of it."

I put a bag of sandwich bread on the table and added the pot of stew and some cooked slices of beef I'd made earlier. I set two loaves of bread on the table and put meat on one side and layered the stew on top of it, finally covering it with another loaf of bread. I pushed the plate over to him.

"Try it."

He picked it up gingerly but bit into it nonetheless. After one swallow, his face brightened up.

"This is great!" he exclaimed. "Wow! You can really cook Sasuke!"

I sat down in my chair and made myself a sandwich. My mind whisked back to dinner with my family...

"Sasuke, I made your favorite! Tomato stew sandwiches!" Oka-san announced. "As congratulations for getting into the academy."

"Yay!" I exclaimed.

She leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. My father nodded at me and my brother ruffled my hair. I bit into the sandwich, closing my eyes tight, reliving the warmth... Not of the food but of my old house... My old life... The warmth of my family...

"Sasuke?"

I looked up. Naruto was staring at me from across the small table in my apartment.

"Feeling okay?" he asked.

_It's so cold..._

"I'm fine." I muttered.

"...Sasuke?"

I sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

I looked up at him.

"If you have something to say, go ahead and say it."

He shook his head.

"It's stupid."

"Isn't_ everything_ you say stupid?" I asked him.

He wordlessly got up from the table and put his plate on the counter.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm cold." He said.

"Well, naturally. You're only wearing underwear." I pointed out.

He walked out without replying. I cleaned up after him, putting the plates and utensils in the sink and washing them clean and putting the spare food back in the refrigerator. When I walked back into the main room, he was curled up in my sheets on my bed. I poked him.

"Get out." I said. "You can't sleep in my _bed_."

He didn't stir.

_This guy is just..._

I pulled my shirt over my head and folded it neatly on my bed stand then I took my shorts off and folded it on top. I yawned and shoved Naruto.

"Move over."

He sleepily rolled over a half an inch forcing me to push him until he gave me enough room.

_It's strange having someone in my bed..._

I turned the light off unable to stop the memories from flooding in again.

"Story time! Sasuke, Itachi, what book do you want to read?" she asked us.

I couldn't have been older than two. Itachi was eight years old. I snuggled up next to my big brother wearing the pajamas with the Sharingan's all over it. Itachi wore a matching pair except his were black and mine were baby blue.

"Can you read us the one about the Sage of the Six Paths?" Itachi suggested.

"You want to hear _that_ old wives' tale?" she asked him.

I nodded, agreeing with my brother on everything. She sighed.

"Once upon a time... There was a man with very, very powerful eyes..." she began.

I always fell asleep in the beginning of that story. It was nowhere near as interesting to me as her other tales but I knew that Itachi stayed up and listened all night long. Sometimes, I'd wonder why... What was he getting out of it?

I woke up to a lot of movement next to me. Kicking and tearing at the bed sheets. I turned over.

"Naruto."

He continued bucking and kicking.

"Naruto." I called again.

But he was so locked in whatever dream he was having he didn't even notice.

"Naruto!"

He sat straight up, breathing heavily and looking all around.

"W-What?" he gasped.

I sat up, too.

"You're having a bad dream." I told him.

He was shaking. He tucked his knees to his bare chest and hugged himself.

_What the hell could an empty headed guy like that be having a nightmare about anyway?_

"Naruto..."

His breathing was still jumpy and irregular. He didn't look toward me but he responded.

"Yeah?"

"What was your dream about?"

He was silent for a second but then he gave.

"When I was on that mission with Ero-Senin before... We met Orochimaru there and..." he began. "He told me that he and Orochimaru used to be best friends but then, one day, Orochimaru got really twisted and tried to kill him."

I already knew what he was getting at.

_A few days ago...on the rooftop of the hospital...we went at each other's throats..._

"I just...had a dream that instead of Orochimaru and Ero-Senin it was you and me." he whispered. "I don't really know why but...it really creeps me out."

_Yeah, of course it does. Someone like you who has never had any kind of relationships before now... Losing those bonds and reverting back to nothing is definitely your worst nightmare. _

He picked his head up from the place on his arms.

_But imagine having bonds all along and being forced to know the pain of being utterly alone for the first time... That... That's much worst._

"Earlier... I was going to ask you if... You were mad at me."

I froze.

"You seem so mad at me lately." He went on.

I sighed.

"You're such an embarrassing guy..." I reproached. "Why would I be mad?"

He turned and looked me in the eyes then. His bright blue eyes shinned in the dim light of the dark bedroom.

"You would never...try to kill me, would you, Sasuke?" he asked me.

We locked eyes. I scoffed and looked away from him.

"Why the hell would I do something exhausting like that?"

But even as I said it, I knew it wasn't true.

"_You must kill your closest friend."_

_Naruto... You can't trust me... I might-_

"You're my best friend." He said.

I looked at him again, not being able to stop the surprise splashing across my face. Slowly, he smiled.

"So... I'm glad that you let me stay over, Sasuke." He said.

I pushed his head down.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I mumbled. "Just go back to sleep."

He slowly lay back down and curled up, rubbing his arms. The wind whipped against my wind, making the rain pound harder.

_It's cold... Isn't it, Naruto?_

I watched him shiver.

_But not physically, emotionally... It's so cold to be...alone... It's only you... You're the only one that understands._

He seemed to fall asleep rather quickly but he was still shivering slightly. It was probably a bad idea for him to stay so long half-naked after just coming in from the rain. I got out of bed and made my way to my dresser. I pulled a thick wool blanket out of the drawer and dragged it over to him. He didn't stir as I pulled the extra blanket around him, covering him completely. He stopped shivering almost as soon as I did.

I pulled myself into bed next to him and stared at his sleeping face. It reminded me of all the nights I'd slept in Itachi's room and woke up to see him staring me in the face. What was he thinking? Was he planning killing our mother or our father at that time? Was he planning the destruction of the clan then? Or...was he just thinking of how much he loved me? How much he wanted he cared for me? When did he...completely become evil?

My bottom lip trembled. I was surprised to discover that I was choking back tears. Naruto's face blurred in front of my eyes.

_What's wrong with me? _

I wiped my eyes with a shaking hand realizing with a shock that... I hadn't shared a bed with anyone since my older brother... And if I could ever go back in time and ask him _one _question, it'd be the same question Naruto asked me...

"_You would never...try to kill me, would you, Nii-san?"_

I eased my hand into Naruto's hair, brushing his damp blonde locks out of his eyes.

_I won't, Naruto. I promise I won't hurt you. I swear it on my life..._

But even as my brain decided on that, I had no way of knowing that the curse mark pulsating on my neck at that very moment came with some disastrous side effects... Those with the mark_ did_ obtain explosive amounts of chakra but they were also susceptible to an uncontrollable tendency to apathy, hubris and blood thirst. _That _was why it was a curse. It would take me many years of training with Orochimaru to gain control over its nature...

Naruto was unlucky enough to catch me when I'd lost my mind, my spirit, my body and any desire for anything except power. I needed to murder him for the Mangekyo Sharingan... I needed to murder _him _specifically because...

"Naruto." I whispered, as I curled up next to him. "You're my best friend, too."

Even though it was freezing cold outside, Naruto and I both agreed when we woke up that it felt like the warmest night we'd ever had.

I set the picture frame down in front of me, face up. My room was spotless. It was always spotless... My mother always taught me that a messy room was a messy mind. And I'd always kept my clothes clean because my father taught me that Uchiha's always left the house looking their best. I got to my feet and picked my backpack up. The flap fell open revealing what was inside, the all black unitard Kakashi bought me, a Sakura blossom, and a single package of cup Ramen. My Leaf headband hung on a hook next to my bed, I slipped it into my pocket, more out of memory than need. I lifted the picture frame in my hand deciding, finally, not to bring it with me. I set it down on the dresser and slowly pushed it face down. I pushed the window screen open and fled out into the open night, making a beeline for the Sound Four.

Comforted only by the movement of my feet, I kept running. I had to keep running. I had to. And I couldn't look back. But I couldn't deny that my legs hesitated momentarily as I neared the village entrance.

Again...

"_You would never try to kill me...would you, Sasuke?" _

I...

"_When you _do_ kill him...kill him for the family you have right now."_

Feel...

"_If there's anything I want you to learn from me, Sasuke, it's that comrades...are _everything_."_

Cold...


End file.
